You'd think from the way I update on here, that I've totally abandoned my journal here.  But, I actually read almost every day.  I have pretty much shifted to blogging instead of journalling, but my blog is too public.  Anytime I have private stuff I want to write, it comes here.  I don't know that I'm feeling so "private" at the moment, but I am feeling a bit introspective, and I feel better doing that with the anonymonity of this journal.

I really want another baby.  It doesn't make sense financially at all.  I don't know how we would afford it actually.  Some days I feel like we're just barely getting by, which isn't entirely true.  But we do tend to spend the money we have.  I like to think that I only buy "necessities", clothes, food, shoes, etc - but I definitely tend to go overboard.  I also love to eat out.  My husband just loves stuff - we just barely got a new TV, while our "old" one (that isn't even that old) is just sitting in the basement because it was too big (seriously).  He wants a new phone, new computer equipment, and the other day he brough home a $250 universal remote.  Its all stuff we could live without.  Yet we continue to buy.  I know if we made drastic improvements to our budget, we'd have lots more $$ each month.  But still, with the current economy, it scares me.

There is also the issue of where the new baby would sleep.  We only have a 3 bedroom house, so the girls would have to share.  I suppose that isn't the end of the world, but it would be an adjustment.  We could probably deal with it though, without too much of an issue.

Then there is the issue of my health.  I'm not a healthy pregnant person.  I'm also 34 now, and would turn 35 while I was pregnant (if I got pregnant today).  I've also been working on getting healthy - working out and eating healthy.  This is going to sound so vain, but I still have about 25 pounds to my goal weight, but I'm less than 10 pounds away from my healthy range.  I'm in really good shape, and I'm actually training for a 36 hour relay race in the summer.  I know it sounds petty, but I don't know that I'm ready to put on the pregnancy pounds again.  I don't know why, but I'm one of those women who gain horribly while pregnant, despite my best efforts.  Its taken me nearly 3 years (can you believe Bryn will be 3 on the 20th??) to lose Bryn's weight, and I'm still carrying G's weight.  UGH!!

Bryn is 100% potty trained now too.  I don't know if I'm ready for diapers, and night wakings, sore nipples, and bottles, and PUMPING 4 -6 times a day . . .

There are deintely many reasons why it just isn't a good idea to have another baby.  But I still want one.  My hubby and I are in a good place right now though.  I know we could handle it.