c1311
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 226
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 Blah
7/28/09
(2 comments)
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I'm feeling kind of overwhelmed about the financial part of all IF. So much money for NO guarantees. I don't even think I qualify for the refund/shared risk program because of my E2 level.  Unless some sort of miracle happens and it was a fluke. I'm not holding out hope for that though, because there don't seem to be any miracles when it comes to my body. It seems parts of my broken body are hiding around every freaking corner. It's bad enough to be broken into one part, but I seem to be in many pieces and sometimes I'm not even sure if I can be put back together. So much for being positive, but it's so hard to be positive when I keep getting bad news at every turn. I am having a hard time coming to turns with this growing list of malfunctions that I seem to posses. I really didn't expect to be this defective.
Now for the good news. I have been very stressed out about this endometrioma. I have no hope that it will be miraculously gone when I have my ultrasound tomorrow. I am just hoping it hasn't gotten bigger. As it stands right now, it is 1.6 cm by 1.7 cm and anything over 1 cm needs to be gone before proceeding. (I know that some doctors proceed with treatment without addressing an endometrioma, and my old RE was one of them, but my current doctor feels strongly that it needs to be addressed BEFORE treatment. I've only got one ovary, so it needs to be in the best shape possible.) As an afterthought I logged into my insurance company's website and found that Dr. Sh*er not only takes my insurance, but also my plan! I called the insurance company to verify that there are no restrictions to me receiving treatment (for the endo, not infertility) out of state and there aren't. So, my plan is to have them treat the cyst, rather than trying to navigate the land sharks here in South Florida who call themselves surgeons. I can't trust just anyone to remove it without removing healthy tissue along with it. I talked to SI*RM yesterday and Dr. Sh*er does sclerotherapy, which is far less invasive and much cheaper, on these kinds of cysts, BUT most insurance companies won't cover it because it's not yet a standard treatment for endometriomas. Most insurance companies would rather pay for a lap for cyst removal--mine included. He himself doesn't perform laps, but his partner does, so I'm setting up a consult with his partner to go over things and schedule a lap. Obviously I need to travel there for the procedure, but I feel 100% comfortable with them doing this rather than someone here. And that level of comfort is priceless given the importance of having this done correctly. It will also give them (and me) a good idea of how severe the endo really is and perhaps they can remove it elsewhere as well. Luckily I am self-employed, so I can take off whatever time I need to for this stuff.
Still waiting to get the immune testing done. (There was a miscommunication of sorts at their office last week.) I guess we really aren't in a huge hurry now anyway, with the cyst pushing things back, but I am still anxious about getting it done.
So, that's my life these days. I'm really tired of thinking about this ALL THE TIME. I can't even imagine what it must be like to be fertile and just take a pregnancy test and get a BFP. I can't imagine how it must feel to NOT have to spend 2 years worth of college tuition just for the chance to have a baby--not even for a guarantee of a baby.
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 Posted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 1:09 pm
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