I wonder if I may be fighting a bit of depression...I don't know.  I don't think so, except every few days I feel absolutely worthless and like nothing I need/want will happen because I don't deserve it.  It could very well be hormonal too, but still...don't like it.  I don't even feel I deserve a good pity party that I want to, and am going to, delve into.

TTC front...I haven't taken my BBT since sometime in Sept., I don't know when I ovulated, I know I did, just not sure when.  We BD'd quite a bit, not sure if it was the right time, stopped taking vit B6 when I ran out, so that leaves me having no CLUE what dpo I am.  I only know that I am CD31 and am about 99.9% sure AF is knocking.  Which is good in a way. 

Last months cycle, when I was keeping track of everything, was a practically perfect cycle.  Cycle was 31days, o'd on cd19 and had a LP of 12 days.  So...this cycle is seeming to be 31days again, and I am pretty sure I o'd close to cd19 (maybe a little before, maybe a little after??), which means even without taking the B6 my LP seems to be regulating.  yay, cycles are regulating...I have been ovulating regularly since at least March and have been having AF pretty regularly! woopie!(insert smirk here).

I am also feeling a bit guilty about wanting to quit my job.  It will mean we have to change our lifestyle a bit.  Which my DH is a bit concerned with.  Reasons I want to quit my job:

1) so I can work full time on my home business which actually uses my education. (which I feel guilty about spending so much money on already)

2) so I can take care of my home. (You know, grocery lists, shopping, laundry, dishes, cleaning...unreasonable things to expect.)

3) I don't want to do this for a career and that is what they want from me!

4) The stress that comes (not all the time, but often) makes me a prime candidate for health problems, like ulcers, IBS, etc. (Which others in my family have had)

Reasons I should not quit my job:

1) The extra income is paying off TONS of things.  We have managed (in 2.5yrs) to purchase two cars (paid for completely), purchase a home (not paid off yet!! but making overpayments every month), purchase all equipment to start a home business (paid off completely...totaling apx. $10,000!!  Home business is a recording studio, that is why it costs so much.), plus extranious things like movies and eating out occasionally.

2) It gives me good experience in case I need to be the breadwinner someday (please NO!!)

So...yeah.   So...to sum up my life, no baby...not even looking like children are on the horizon, crappy job I am wondering if I can afford to quit, house that looks like a tornado hit it, stressed DH trying to figure out how to afford letting me quit my crappy job...wondering if he is the problem with us not having kids...(I wanted to get me straightened out before getting him tested, also he, on his own, decided he was going to talk to his Dr. about it at his next regular appt. Thurs.)...But hey...I have my health, I have a DH that loves me and is trying his hardest to be a GREAT hubby, I have a very supportive family (that is going through their own hard times!)...I know I am ok, just feel like I am worthless today. (A pretty sure sign of AF...I think...)

Blah!  I will stop now....Have a great day everyone!!!